A letter from Ms B

I grew up in a violent and unstable home in the UK. There were moments of light, like being accepted into a fine arts degree and drama school, based purely on my merit as an artist alone. But without financial support, survival came first. I worked dangerous jobs just to get by. 

Then my father died, and everything fell apart. I lost more than stability. I lost direction, identity and hope. As challenges arose, I started to see that there was something unusual going on inside my head.

That chaos shaped everything in my future. Right then, I made the decision not to have children. I didn’t want to repeat the experiences I was born into from my own mother, and step-father. I needed to break the cycle, but I didn’t really know how.

In 2012, sick of feeling like a refugee in my own neighbourhood, I made the bold decision to move and start over in Australia.

In a new country, for the first time in my life, I found real support in a hostel, which also helped me assess my mental health, get a diagnosis and a name to the chaos in my head.

I was battling something I didn’t fully understand my whole life. I had bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. This life changing diagnoses gave my pain a name and gave me a space to recognise that although this is a part of my journey, it’s not my whole story.  It doesn’t define who I am as a person.

Whilst at the hostel, I was encouraged to take medication that didn’t make me feel right, didn’t make me feel like I was me, I was losing who I was. I didn’t move to Australia to lose myself.

Needing to be more independent, I heard about St Bart’s, so I contacted the team, and after an initial interview, I was assigned a case manager and with their support at St Bart’s, I managed to secure housing and finally felt safe.

Through the Reconnecting Lives Program, I found what I hadn’t had in years, if ever – stability, dignity and a place to call home.  My case manager helped me obtain Citizenship, which was a door opener for me, and although the team enabled it to happen, I still had to do the work and sit the test. 

“St Barts got me a home, they helped me rebuild my life”

Creative expression has helped me heal and brought me Joy. Having the space to be creative in a safe environment has helped me express who I am as a person. It has given me hope.

I wrote my first song when I was 26, and music remains a lifeline, my healthy expression of self. I recorded a song about my past and the strength it took to change my future. 

Music is very therapeutic. I’ve got more songs in my head than I can count.

I have even put pen to paper to tell my story and recently published my own book, a deeply emotional process that helped me process years of pain and trauma.

Now, at 61, I am financially independent, receiving ongoing support through local services, and continuing to express myself through my arts.

Thanks to you, and St Bart’s, I am not just surviving – I’m thriving.

Ms B

Participant, St Bart’s Reconnecting Lives Program